I just couldn’t be in that relationship anymore. She was too high maintenance for me. She refused to eat her own fingernail clippings. She just threw them away saying that they “weren’t food” and that I “am crazy.” I can’t stand that kind of wastefulness.
I want to be the first president to be impeached for throwing somebody.
We’re thrilled to announce three big additions to our cast for the May 10 show at Town Hall in New York:
- Comedy/television/literary legend Dick Cavett!
- Actor/Nerd Machine founder Zachary Levi (Chuck; Thor)
- Comedy Bang Bang creator Scott Aukerman
They join the WorkJuice Players, including Paul F. Tompkins, Paget Brewster, Marc Evan Jackson, Busy Philipps, and (from WorkJuice East) John Hodgman, and the rest, as well as previously-announced guests Ira Glass (This American Life), Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Scott Adsit (30 Rock), Terry Kinney (Oz), Jackson Publick (creator, Venture Brothers), and even more surprises to come!
Get your tickets now: http://bit.ly/1faUQq3
do not fall in love with people like me.
i will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. i will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. and when i leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.